Make Your Own Breaks

I'm somewhat convinced that this is the key to successful living. When I retire I plan to write a self-help book about it and become a multi-millionaire. Of course, by that time it'll cost about fifty grand for a tank of gas, so be sure to buy a copy of my book when it comes out. Actually, buy five. And five more for every member of your family. I want your money, damnit. And since the wal-marts rejected my application for CEO I'll just have to further poison the literary pool. What was I talking about again...?

Oh yeah, making your own breaks. The next time the party van shows up at one of your wild soirees and takes your sorry ass to jail for pimping nine-year-old Asians in the basement just remember: put a sturdier lock on the door next time. No but seriously, before you do something stupid like drink and drive (or set fire to the old folks home, kick Mr. T in the balls, separate me from my cigarettes, or anything really stupid like that), take a moment to consider whether or not you can and are willing to go to prison for running down a school bus full of Aspies. I know it sounds like fun, and the gene pool does need a good skimming, but who will bang all those kids in your basement? More importantly, who's going to be banging YOU? This guy.

What I'm really getting at here is that you have to eliminate needless stupidity in order to succeed. Now I'm not saying cancel the nitrogen-filled bounce house party, because I'm coming to that. But don't invite the Mansons. Don't speed when you're not in a hurry (and don't always be in such a damn hurry). Don't get shitfaced when a buzz will do. And especially don't tell your dad what you did at my party last night, because he will shoot me. He's fucking crazy. And you were pretty wild once everybody got naked. There were pets involved.

Anyway, my point is the very second you get busted for fucking up, regret fills your insides until you're fit to burst. It is incredibly unpleasant. Do you like that feeling? I don't. But you can't blame those who bust you, nor those you get busted with. You are in control of your own destiny and you CAN make your own breaks. The same goes for all you poor shmucks who don't have a job or a life or whatever it is you're missing (all of the above...?).

There are a lot of ways the initial phrase can be interpreted, I'm just trying to give you some ideas. Go out there and make something happen. But don't get raped.

PS: You would not believe the things I google in making these blogs. I'm sure to be on a few watch lists by now.